Credits for translations to dD. These are not my translations..I will take these down if she wishes
Zhong Yuan was hard.
My thigh was pressed between his legs, pressed against something hard and solid. I could feel that burning feeling very distinctly, transferring through layers of clothing onto my leg. And then it transferred up my nerves to my head. And then my thoughts turned into a mess…
When someone comes across such an embarrassing situation, the most common response is to freeze with a blank expression on their face. In that moment, I was no exception. My leg felt like it had been frozen in place, and all my thoughts were stuck on that source of heat. And so I lied on top of Zhong Yuan, frozen, staring blankly.
Zhong Yuan was also motionless on the ground. His body seemed a bit stiff. His breathing seemed a bit rough too, probably because I’d fallen too heavily onto him. He was nearly gasping as he struggled to say, “B-blockhead, are you planning on molesting me right now…?”
When I heard that, my thoughts flew back into my head. I quickly climbed up and got off of him. My head drooped as I couldn’t look at him. My face looked like it had been painted with a layer of chili sauce. It was so unbearably hot. Oh my god, this was so embarrassing! No, wait. It’s Zhong Yuan who was disgraceful!
Zhong Yuan sat up, his arms supporting him from behind. “Blockhead, you’re really quite passionate.”
I glared at him, and when I saw his ambiguous smiling-but-not expression, I only grew angrier. He was obviously the one who should be embarrassed, so why was he enjoying the moment so much?!
Just then, Zhong Yuan added annoyingly, “But however passionate you are, you should know there’s a time and place for that kind of thing.”
I clenched my fists and then released them. Forget it. It was an accident. We don’t have to go over the details. There’s especially no need to talk with a guy like Zhong Yuan!
In the bus, on the way back to school, someone asked Zhong Yuan about his moment of suffering. Zhong Yuan replied calmly, “It was nothing.”
So then others started joking around. They talked about how it might affect his happiness for the rest of his life, that he should get a checkup at the hospital, and so on. Their expressions when they were talking about it were so very vulgar.
Zhong Yuan remained unfazed though. He said, “I’m really fine. Mu Er can testify to it.”
Suddenly, the bus went deathly silent…
I was sitting next to Zhong Yuan with my eyes closed, pretending to be knocked out. Meanwhile, in my head, he was in the midst of death by a thousand cuts.
When I got back to my room that night, I got a call from Little Jie. She regretfully informed me that the 200 yuan I’d bet on Senior Ling Ling had skipped away.
I didn’t believe it. “That’s not right, is it? Although Senior Ling Ling was injured, I wasn’t the one to hit her. It should count as my disqualification, right?”
Little Jie sighed. She said, “That all depends on the president. He was the referee after all.”
I wasn’t happy. “Even if he was the referee, he can’t just distort the facts…” This was a problem touching on economics, which made it very serious!
Little Jie replied, “The president said that when you two set the conditions of the match, no one said that you couldn’t get help.”
Sweat. Can he do that? Did the president get his head chewed on by a dog???
Little Jie added, “The key point is that the president bet 100 yuan. On you.”
I was speechless.
So the president was one of those awful, cunning and treacherous types!
I recently came to possess something very fun. A stamp. Yep. Of course, the stamp itself wasn’t the important part. The important part was the shape of the stamp—an pair of lips. To put it another way, if this was used to stamp someone’s face, it would look like they’d been kissed. I tested the stamp on my notebook and found it very entertaining. Too bad the girls wouldn’t let me try it on their faces. They nearly got together to annihilate me because of this.
I didn’t have class in the afternoon, so Zhong Yuan dragged me to the library to study. I told him that I didn’t think that studying with him was included in my duties, but unfortunately, he insisted that studying with him was a form of training with him… Yeah right!
I opened my advanced math textbook and looked through it while trying not to doze off. Zhong Yuan sat beside me, flipping through a book. I turned to check out what book he was reading… ‘Psychology of Love’?
Sweat. Zhong Yuan, oh Zhong Yuan. If I don’t look down on you right now, that would be a disgrace to this book’s name.
I very clearly chuckled as I continued reading my advanced math book, scorn all over my face. See this? See how different our leagues are?
Zhong Yuan didn’t get angry though. He pulled my notebook over and flipped through my notes. He flipped and flipped until he got to the page where I’d been testing my kiss stamp. The page was covered with bright red lips. It was ghastly and shocking.
Zhong Yuan’s eyes stopped on those lips. After looking a moment, he suddenly turned to me with a wicked expression. His lips curved up into a smile and his eyes glimmered. “Blockhead, are you really that thirsty?”
I didn’t have a comeback.
Angry and embarrassed, I snatched my notebook back. I ignored his poisonous words… That was all I could do. I’m not very good at bickering and arguing with words. If Boss were there, she’d beat him dead in an instant! Haha!
But Zhong Yuan wasn’t grateful for my patience at all. He smiled as he added, “If you really want someone to kiss, then…”
“Shut up!” I glared at him angrily. I was so worked up that I wanted to just pull out the stamp and prove my innocence, but then I suddenly got another idea…
OK, Zhong Yuan. You forced me to this…
I suppressed the burning flames of anger within me and went back to studying quietly. And Zhong Yuan also went back to his ‘Psychology of Love. I wondered which poor girl the rascal was going after. Let us have a moment of silence for her.
After a while, I nudged Zhong Yuan’s arm and quietly asked, “Aren’t you tired?”
Zhong Yuan gave me an odd look but didn’t say anything.
I continued, “Reading that kind of book would probably make you tired, right? You must be really tired. Don’t try to fool me.”
Zhong Yuan didn’t even bother looking up from his book; his eyes remained fixed on the book in his hand. With his other hand, he pressed down on my head and turned it away.
I angrily pushed away his hand and waited quietly for him to get sleepy.
God must have heard my prayers because not too long after that, Zhong Yuan started getting sleepy… You should know that this guy is usually very alert and fired up when he studies, so this was a very rare chance indeed.
“I’m going to sleep a bit.” Zhong Yuan yawned and then rested his head on his arms on the table.
I studied half-heartedly a little more. When I thought he’d fallen asleep, I gently nudged him again. I called quietly, “Zhong Yuan.” There was no response.
Looks like he fell asleep. I was delighted. I quietly pulled out my stamp. Zhong Yuan was sleeping on the table, one side of his face tilted up. He had really nice skin. How despicable.
I crept over to him with my stamp in hand. This guy was knocked out so he didn’t notice me creeping up to him at all. I smiled with satisfaction as I gently pressed the stamp to his face…
Everything proceeded smoothly. But it was just at that moment, before I’d removed the stamp from his face, that that guy slowly opened his eyes…
Right as I was in the middle of my deed, Zhong Yuan opened his pair of sinister eyes.
Startled, my hand trembled, and the stamp I was holding fell onto the back of Zhong Yuan’s hand. When my senses came back to me, he’d already picked up the stamp and started inspecting it. He touched the ink on his face with his fingers and looked up at me. I felt myself go cold… Oh no, crap. I’d been found out. Zhong Yuan, if you’re going to kill me or cut off a body part, please give a warning…
Zhong Yuan held the stamp between his fingers, and then he gave a strange laugh. He brought the stamp up to my face and said, “You’re really childish.”
I took back the stamp and waited for his punishment. A long time passed, and I was getting sleepy, but he still hadn’t said anything. He just kept reading that book of his. And those fiery red lips continued to sit on his face.
I found it very strange. Even if he was being generous and didn’t want to squabble over it, he must have known that there was something on his face, right? I kindly reminded him, “Your face…”
“I know.” Zhong Yuan’s head was lowered as he replied calmly, “But I think it probably doesn’t look bad.”
I didn’t understand. “And?”
Zhong Yuan answered, “And so I don’t plan on cleaning it off right now.”
I was speechless.
I started to suspect that Zhong Yuan and I weren’t people of the same planet. Why were there so many embarrassing and frustrating things that he did without a second thought? And he did them so calmly too. How strong was his mind and how thick was his skin for him to do that?!
But, whatever. I wasn’t the one getting embarrassed.
And so, Zhong Yuan spent the afternoon with fiery red lips on his face as he read ‘Psychology Of Love’…
When I went to the cafeteria for dinner, I happened to see Lu Zijian. Goodness, my Lu Zijian! I carried my tray over to his table and sat across from him. Zhong Yuan could only sit down beside me.
I greeted Lu Zijian sweetly, and he returned a friendly smile. Then his gaze shifted over to Zhong Yuan, who still had those bright red lips stamped on his face. Lu Zijian’s expression turned bashful and a bit embarrassed, which in turn made me feel a bit strange. I told him, “Senior Lu, ignore Zhong Yuan. That guy’s completely crazy.”
With his thick skin, Zhong Yuan calmly replied, “I wonder who the crazy one really is, attacking when I was asleep.”
Hey, hey, hey! Were you even asleep? You were obviously faking it to lure me into committing a crime!
Just then, two figures appeared behind Lu Zijian. They were the Passersby seniors. After they sat down, Zhong Yuan looked up, revealing the ostentatious lips on his face, and the boys’ eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. After Passerby A came back to his senses, he took another look at Zhong Yuan’s face and sniggered. Then he gave a long sigh as he turned to me.
I trembled, unable to even hold my chopsticks steady. Passerby A’s gaze… What did it mean?
And then Passerby B lowered his head and poked his chicken leg. With a shake of his head, he sighed, “Young people nowadays, ah…”
I couldn’t decide whether to laugh or cry. I tried to explain, “It wasn’t me…”
But Zhong Yuan looked me up and down and asked, “Can you really say that it wasn’t you?”
I didn’t know what to say anymore.
Zhong Yuan, can you not blindly jump in? You don’t even know what these guys are thinking, OK?! I glared at him and tried to explain again. “I mean, it’s not what you’re imagining…”
Passerby A feigned innocence and smiled at Passerby B. “What did we imagine?”
I opened my mouth but didn’t know how to start. In the end, I lowered my head, feeling utterly wronged, and continued to eat my food without talking.
Those two guys had some propriety in speech at least, since they didn’t try to continue the topic any more. Instead, they started talking about something else, which I was very interested in, because it had to do with Lu Zijian.
So, every year, the school requires that first and second year students must complete ‘practical training’,1 which counts towards our grades. This so-called ‘practical training’ requires that students form their own group and pick out a topic that they’ll further investigate. A few days ago, my roommates and I were talking about wanting to form a group together, but there were no interesting topics. Anyway, this practical training was precisely what Passersby A and B were currently discussing.
The boys were discussing whether they wanted to join Lu Zijian, who had formed a group for a project to investigate the water pollution control process in a natural ecosystem. I looked to Lu Zijian excitedly and asked, “Senior Lu, can I join too?”
Before Lu Zijian cold answer, Zhong Yuan cut in, “Nope. You’re working with me.”
Angrily, I asked, “Says who?”
Zhong Yuan replied simply, “I’m the boss.”22
I couldn’t say anything to that.
Fine, I’ll admit that I’m a person who lacks integrity. Idols and whatever, they’re fleeting. Most important was being well-fed…
That night, as I was heading to bed, I received a text from Zhong Yuan.
Zhong Yuan texted, “My roommates are all praising you.”
Curious, I asked, “Why are they praising me?”
Zhong Yuan replied, “They praised you for having passion, and lots of it.”
I asked again, “Did you explain things to them?”
Zhong Yuan simply texted, “I said all that I needed to.”
“What did you say?”
“I told them not to let their imaginations run away.”
Dude, if you say that, wouldn’t they imagine even worse things?
I finally texted him, “Whatever. Just make sure that you make things clear to Lu Zijian.” My beautiful image can’t get broken in front of Lu Zijian.
After a while, Zhong Yuan texted back, “Please stop thinking about Lu Zijian.”
Furious, I replied, “Why?!”
Zhong Yuan answered, “I can’t simply sit by and watch my good friend jump into the pits of hell.”
I sent back, “Go to hell!” You bottom!
After another short while, Zhong Yuan sent another text. “It’s not impossible for you to join Lu Zijian’s practical training group.”
I asked, “What about you then?” Didn’t you say you were the boss…?
Zhong Yuan replied, “I’ll join too.”
I held my phone tightly in my hand as the excitement got to me. See? I told you that Lu Zijian was really charming. Even Zhong Yuan was attracted…
Then he added, “But I have a condition.”
I asked, “What is it?”
Zhong Yuan replied, “Bring along your roommate, Miss Fourth.”
I asked him, “Why?”
Zhong Yuan answered, “You’ll find out when the time’s right. Don’t let her know I asked you to bring her though.”
Strange, how very strange. When did this guy start taking an interest in Miss Fourth? I suddenly recalled that he was reading ‘Psychology Of Love’ the other day. Could it be…? That didn’t seem right. He and Miss Fourth were like different species. Moreover, Miss Fourth was pretty tough and she had a pretty ordinary sense of beauty, so she probably wouldn’t like a strange alien like him. Wait, did that mean that Zhong Yuan was setting himself up for heartbreak?
Of course, that wasn’t the only possibility. Zhong Yuan is someone who likes doing all sorts of strange and embarrassing things, so this might be another of his tricks. If I could figure out what he was planning, that would be weird.
As much as I hated Zhong Yuan’s mysterious and suspicious activities, using Miss Fourth for the time being was probably OK, right? Oh, I seem to be growing more and more despicable.
Of course, if I wanted to bring along Miss Fourth, I could just bring along all my roommates. That would keep away any misgivings that Miss Fourth might have. So I happily went to discuss things with my roommates. Boss and Lil’ Second expressed interest, especially Lil’ Second. When she heard that Top Lu and Bottom Zhong were both involved, a bad, greedy look flashed across her eyes. But after hearing Lu Zijian’s name, Miss Fourth resolutely declined to join.
These results were far from my expectations. So then I joined forces with Boss and Lil’ Second to lobby Miss Fourth. The child before me impatiently pulled out the big guns. Lil’ Second immediately shouted out, “Miss Fourth, I took all your SD dolls! If you don’t join us, we’re going to pull off all the arms and legs! And I always keep my word!”
Miss Fourth had her arms hanging in the air, and she slowly lowered them…
I smiled to Lil’ Second and made a cutting motion with my finger scissors.
Miss Fourth clenched her fists and angrily retorted, “If you don’t give me my dolls back within three days, I’m going to cut your hands off!”
Lil’ Second gave an immoral laugh. “After you register, I’ll give them back. Would I dare not to…?”
Afterwards, I texted Zhong Yuan, “It’s taken care of.”